Good-bye For Now

I'm leaving in a couple of hours. Why did this day had to come...

It hurts having to leave my family and friends again, but it can't be helped. I've had an interesting week. Exercised, ate a lot of unhealthy food, saw my best friend's dorm, and had dinner with my family at my favorite bakery. I know God is good to me.

I pray that God comforts me as I leave to follow His will. And I pray that I find mercy and favor in His eyes, as I face a new semester. And that He gives me the strength to give up all my fears and burdens to Him, and continue to follow Him.

I'll be back in May, and I'll end this post with a song that played on the airplane (on both flights) when I first visited my current college in high-school.

The Inevitable

That's what I hate about life. There are some things you have to face, and what makes it worse is the fact that there's nowhere to run. I absolutely dread having to go back to college. Honestly, if it weren't for my grades I would hit the ground running. I would be so happy knowing that I'll be taking classes I love, and getting to see my roommates and friends. But now I know my schedule will most likely change, and I don't want my roommates to see me depressed. And there are my teachers to think about too. I don't want to see the disappointment in their faces, and be told I'll have to retake my class(es).

But I've realized that no matter what problem came up concerning with my being in college, God has always made sure I would stay. I guess God really wants me to stay in college, specifically the college I'm attending right now. I pray that God shows mercy again and make the college overlook my bad grades. It's happened before, and I must have faith that whatever happens, that its God's will.

Only a couple of days 'til I leave for college.

Still Trying

Chillin' with mah bubble pipe...

It isn't the best, like all my previous works. But it was kind of funny how the process went into making it. Lately I've been watching Downton Abbey and just recently finished watching the Season 2 premiere. So I thought I should look/feel a bit snooty, but then I realized how that could draw up the wrong kind of attention in real life. Then I remembered how the movie The Goodfellas kept showing up this past week on TV. So, I tried to make myself snooty looking and put myself amongst the characters in the movie.

Well I thought it was somewhat humorous.

Oh yeah, the scary thing. A little background to how this came up: Back in college, a friend of mine used to play the Nancy Drew games. I was interested and actually won a bet on who was the culprit in the game Nancy Drew: Alibi in Ashes. Well after she beat that game, she turned to another game, Nancy Drew: Shadow at Water's Edge. Now this game actually had some scary parts. One in particular, which she purposely showed to me and her roommates. I, of course, screamed like a very scared frog. Here's that scary part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sRa9iyS3pU

Blogger wasn't able to find it, so the link is here instead. Oh and if you are reading this (you know who you are), I still remember that bet we have.

I Am My Worst Enemy

Earlier, still depressed about my grades, my mother said something that both gave me some inspiration and encouragement. She said that I am my worst enemy, that I'm being too harsh on myself and that I shouldn't be worried. That she knows me and that she's not worried about my grades. That really did help, seeing as my family has avoided the subject of school these past days to help me heal. I got some inspiration out of it but it's not much. I used myself fighting against myself, taking the "I'm my worst enemy" quite literally. I put some things in the background as a little joke to humor myself in this epic fight against myself.

See if you can spot the characters in the background

Hopefully some more inspiration will come my way and I can deliver more meaningful projects in the future. I know what the next post will be about, but be forewarned. It might be scary.

God's Been Good In My Life pt. 5

I will continue to praise Him...

Even through trials.

I received my grades from the fall semester. They were not good. And what's worse is that I may not be able to attend a certain class(es) because of it, which ruins my schedule. I feel at my lowest point right now and my grades are just staring back at me yelling out loud "You should have done better, you usually get better grades!". All I could respond was that I honestly tried but I know that is still not a good excuse. I've disappointed my teachers, myself and my Lord. Now I'm not looking forward to next semester having to face the teacher I respect the most. I let him down and I feel so pathetic. I hurts knowing that you tried so hard but it still wasn't enough.

But I must continue to praise Him, even while I'm still hurting.

God has blest me with a supporting mother who knows that I've tried, I have a great sister who never has a frown on her face, and a wonderful friend that has stayed by my side for so many years. I have never gone to bed hungry, God has always provided food. He shows that He loves me in small ways, like airing my favorite movie or song on the radio or tv. God loves me so much and even though I may not have a dad, I have a wonderful Heavenly Father. My family and I were saved from a horrible person, and now my family and I live making new memories that overcome all the previous bad memories. I've had/have wonderful roommates that brought the best out of me. I've had teachers who've cared about me and encouraged me to go the distance. God took me out of so many unpleasant situations, and made sure I would be safe. All in all, I've been truly blest. God has been good to me.

I feel a bit better now. Still hurting but better. I may not sleep tonight, maybe stay up and talk with God and walk in the morning. Will you please pray for me?

Entering the New Year

The Wrong Way that is!

Well aside from starting the New Year with my family watching the countdown, I spent the rest of it watching a marathon of Law and Order (the regular one and SVU). Talk about a downer. Normally my sister and I are loud and always laughing, but after watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU we are dead silent for a good minute or two, not even moving a muscle. But then right after that another episode starts and we pretend to play the instruments during the opening theme song.

Yes it's pathetic but it helps bring up the mood after a horrible case shown on Law and Order.  Any resolutions? Well, yes and frankly it's not new to me.  I'll try to lose weight again. Maybe in the process some inspiration will come my way. But that's not the only resolution I have.

Here's my list:
1. Be closer to God.
2. Have more faith and trust in Him.
3. Get better grades.
4. Lose weight.

Of course there are more but these are the general ones. To tell you the truth, I'm both excited and dreading going back to college. I know what to expect but I also know what could go wrong. I'm afraid I won't get into the program I'm aiming for, I'm afraid my schedule for future semesters will change because of it and I'm afraid my past will catch up with me and pull me down again. I shouldn't worry about that, God hasn't let me down before and I know He will handle this. I'll try to post up some projects before I leave.