Well, that was another long break from writing a post. You see, I couldn't get access to internet for a long time. Only once very briefly, at the airport when I was leaving college for the summer and another time at my relatives house.
Well now it's official that I'm back. While the internet was down I finished three of my projects, two of them were on a whim and the other was one that I had been planning. I will introduce those projects tomorrow, get ready for a lot of Animal Crossing in the next couple of days.
Now for me to explain some things.
As I have previously stated, this year's resolutions have been answered, but not without blood, sweat, and tears. One event has totally changed me. I didn't even see it coming. It just happened without my knowing. And the others for that matter.
You see, I was dropped out of my major. Some of you know that I was originally a double major in Graphic Design and … you-know-what. I won't say what it was, but I can say that I loved that major so much. Even more than Him. And that was my downfall.
I wasn't the only one dropped from that major, others were dropped and a lot had left the college. My major was being dropped and only a few sophomores, and the juniors and seniors could continue until they graduated. My teachers found out a week before the students came back.
This was a really big blow to me. I was devastated. I went throughout the semester a broken person. My friends knew it, my teachers and roommates saw me break down into a million pieces, everyone saw my life spiral downhill. I really loved my major, I actually studied and worked hard for it. I spent so much of my time dedicated to it, pouring out my sweat and blood for my classes. I honestly believed it was God's will for me to be in that major.
I can not tell you how many days and nights have passed with me breaking down, asking and yelling, "Why, God? Why?". I've asked that question so many times, and I went further to turn God away from me. Yes. I have done the worst possible mistake in my life. I actually turned Him away from me.
Believe me when I say this, I felt His presence gone from me. It was actually gone. And it was horrible. Those brief minutes of my life were empty, I really was alone. After my roommate came in and heard what happened, she quickly got some sense back in me, and I asked God to forgive me and come back in my life.
I'm glad to say that He's with me again, and that I regret what I did to turn Him away. I'm thankful that God has provided me with great friends, teachers, and roommates to help me grow and heal. I know that nothing will ever be the same ever again, but I understand that it's what God wants.
What has come out of this ordeal? I realize what's more important in life, and my relationships have been strengthened. Especially with Him. I have truly grown and matured in my walk with Him.
I would like to thank:
My friends, for staying with me even when I was making you feel down with all my anger and bitterness.
My roommates/friends, for being a shoulder to cry on and leading me back to Him.
My teachers (mentors), for forgiving me after the many times I took my anger out on you and for stopping me from taking the destructive path of no return.
And to my God and Lord and Savior, for loving me so much to die on the cross for me and for loving me even though I don't deserve His love or mercy.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment